WHUDA FUCK AREYOU DOOING?

not gonna lie im kinda going loopy

waiting for a response to have a place to lay muh head tonight.

smoking hella cigarettes

drinking mad coffee

pissing mad much

listening to TI$a instrumental tape

sweating under my arms with cold ass: fingersCOMMAnoseANDtoes

balls sweating -body smelling like 5 days ago

want some pantywine

that aint nothing different

EXCUSE YOU NIGGA!

you're excused.

rest assured

been reasssearchiing murderers all day



i'm concerned about my dreams tonight.


its only 6pm

MOMENT OF REALIZATION

SO..

I went to _____ agency last week. They were considerably rude, more than agencies usually are. However upon leaving in a rage at the disrespect- not the rejection (thats whatever). I stormed the streets walking in front of every car, and cursing on the streets and hitting light posts and signs.

And then after I took a walk in my neighborhood here in Milan. It hit me. I do not need an agency, but I really do want one, for better paid work. On my own I have gotten considerable work and have quite the resume of pictures. I know I have multiple talents and I am great at them all- (everything can always improve)... but In music, Im genius. In Modeling- I can fit anything and make it look well while still looking great myself on camera. In acting- I am a special kind of actor and very devoted to the point of perfection.

I have been given and developed an amazing taste in Fashion, Music, Art, etc. I know what would be great together and alone.

I SIMPLY REALIZED THAT I DONT NEED AN AGENCY. I ALONE AM WORKING HARDER THAN THESE AGENCIES BECAUSE I KNOW WHERE I FIT AND WHAT I CAN DO AND HAVE DONE MORE THAN THEY DO.

CONFIDENCE IS KEY.

Post Title

Been acting strange lately. Thinking too much, or changing. Not doing what I feel to do socially, letting myself get in the way.







Im wavy, WTF!

ITS GONNA BE A TURN-ON

ITS MORE PEACH, AND APPEALING TO APPEASE PEOPLE, BUT IN THE END I END UP WITH NO FACE AND VOICE. IN A WORLD SO LOUD YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHEN TO SPEAK AND WHEN TO LISTEN. BUT YOU CANNOT LEARN EITHER IF YOU DO NEITHER.

MAKE MISTAKES, LEARN BY DOING. FOLLOW YOUR CURIOSITY AND INSTINCTS. 

FOLLOW SELF AT ALL COSTS. 

EASIER TYPED THAN SAID, AND EASIER SAID THAN DONE.

honesty

|M|

Now, Im modeling because I see what I can do in it, and it interests me, and getting into fashion world is a great thing that can be done, through it. Im just following the wave of life and its pacing. im letting it take me.

Also things are lining up and working out by the people I have met, and the energy and words I have and am putting out.

I know I can make it, but make what ... first?
Everything- Do everything.



But most of all be still ,listen and do you.


BE STILL

AND LISTEN.

YOU.


|M|

NOW,

ITS NOT THAT I DO NOT WANT to act, but it is something I do on and off, it always has been that way since I first rode it to the top,personally.

I realized that after talking to some elders (50-60+)...[unfinished thought]


Look, I want what I want, does every decision have to be related to my career. If my career is  my life shouldn't it be treated s such, knowing that It develops naturally with what you put in. And until you are willing to put in more it will go like this.

I think this is frustrating because I want recognition and Im good, easily great and beyond once I commit. But I will not commit, for it "not being what I want" at that moment in life.
will i pay?am i stubborn? will this bite me in the ass? ..will it hurt?

Also If you don't love it always, is that your passion?




|M|