i know, i know... i look better in real life.

through all the "ohm's" and meditations, the moment that was the most real was to finally be in the moment. i was in the moment and able to operate my life and time accordingly to it. by the hour i was more in touch and able to think.

All throughout life i have been so caught up with the future, what i want for it, and what i want it to be. To the point that i am rarely able to realize that the present makes my future. i have to use the present to have a better future. To dream and fantasize is cool, but you can only achieve your dreams by using the present, and taking full advantage of the time available to you at the present moment.

All throughout school i would forget about each year's lessons, focusing on getting out of school each year, for the entire year and eventually focusing on not having to go school anymore because it wasted my time. Had I understood my present predicts my future, or even that you cannot have a future without first being in the present, or even-even (lol) that the future is not yet here but the present is... i believe much more could have been accomplished.

No reason to blame anyone for not telling me, because you know what, I don't trust people with information so close and personal to me. But things need to change. I need to trust, I want to trust, I want great friends, I need great friends.

I need confidence... i remember hearing ..I have great ideas but i don't let anyone help... Its time to change in realism to what can be done...and work my life to be great.

thank you.