the CRUCIALBLE

facing the most CRUCIAL decision in my life yet.

do i stay (here) or finish my EP with the 3rd set of producers (who do seem legit). or do i break what could be another cycle keeping me here for another 3-6 months easily?

In NY I can hit the stand-up scene granted I don't have any new headshots. I have raw vocals for 3 tracks on my project thus far. I can get hitched up with Walter's connect and get acting work once I am there. It will be a new start. I can choose to go to conservatory, university or trade school? All out of my own pocket and with scholarships.

So, im going home today to talk with my people then use my mind after consulting with them and come up with an answer and be able to move on as necessary.

My Music is dynamite, but im walking out on someone who not only believes, but has given what they can and more to get it done... but what if their time table is just off.
They have the belief and small means but can't get it out in the time necessary. Im not doggin your pocketbook but, i just feel the first two attempts down here were a fail, with the factory and the walrus. then knowing the factory could no longer provide, i went back anyway, and sure enough kicked out the factory. Im sure you saw my thoughts then, and perhaps that is why you pressed to move on the new guys. it also could have been because you too wanted to get it done; (whether to start your product or natural excitement).

But more thought needs to go into our actions as a business, we are performers wanting a business, we need to perform then attend to business when we are properly able.

More than an individual I want to do what is right for myself, and show the gratitude to my caretaker of the past 3 1/2 months! aaaggh... * sigh *

The deal is good but i feel i will be trapped and really hate it in 2 months! id love to get my cd done and dip but even that... maybe i just need to visit first see how walt is living then comeback and decide...but i dont have that type of time unless i go along with this recording process. (these are the details of the bigger decision).

either i stay another year almost or take the opening now and go! i will feel trapped everyday, im sure.

being young and flighty ain't easy. am i flighty ?

i think i just need to speak up sooner and more; the lesson of dozens of fortune cookies, horoscopes, motherly lectures, and self talks.. do it already!

today.tomorrow.today

so the weather in southeast Michigan, specifically the metro Detroit weather. has been straight up emotional. lol. literally raining,windy,and cloudy one minute and sunshine,birds chirping like a spring morning the next! all day the longest span between the two differences had to be about 20 minutes. maybe. i don't really depend on time,but that's another topic though.

So. I was at home after getting off work, and this bullshit schedule I had, have. expecting to go to my friends grad party, because there is this chick im digging. and as occurs often I did not get what I wanted. It has a way of wearing on you at times. But I got over it. I figure the people that really know me, know that if i could I would be at many friends events. But I am without a car. I am not one to pester people for rides either, I understand you have your agenda, and I, mine.

Anywho, I did compose a few more entries into my book. "Twenty-22-Two". my memoir in poetic...journal entry form. been chatting with ennsanjana . thats been helping me a lot with the development of my writings. btw check out her work. Some of the most honest,real, work you will read/indulge in.

I've got studio time with the Group Paris Brown this week as we prepare for upcoming summer performances. The only thing that worries me is not being entertaining enough, me forgetting lines to my verses, not being able to recover from mistakes, and if we will need a dj. I'll be the DJ but I've no turntables.

I wore glasses for the past hours. Why do people stare, outside and in.

mind your business.

and while at home bummed. I listened to LUSH!

thank you pearl harbor for that! check those ladies out. as well as the dum dum girls to female groups I like.

Might go to this Bush Walker ? concert at the Magic Bag...might not.
once again, I'll need a ride.

.peace

THANKS LAGER*THANKS MALCOLM

SO MALCOLM MCLAREN(L.I.T.) IS DEFINITELY MY PRESENT FASHION INSPIRATION! GOING OUTSIDE THE POPULAR, I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE WHAT THAT TAKES, ITS NOT REALLY ABOUT TASTE, I MEAN YOU CAN LOOK GOOD BUT STILL BE DIFFERENT. BUT ITS NOT ABOUT MASS APPEAL.

SO I'VE BEGUN, MY JOURNEY!

LAGERFELD

KL:...hard work is like being politically correct. Be politically correct, but please don’t bother other people with conversation about being politically correct, because that’s the end of everything. You want to create boredom? Be politically correct in your conversation.
...
KL:I could vote for myself because I know everything about myself. And I can lie to everybody, but I cannot lie to myself. My mother used to say, “If you’re really honest and you have a certain kind of education, you will know the question and the answer.”
...

BRUCE LABRUCE:...Well, yes, I know that you care, because you are interested in both high and low culture.
KL: That is because there is only culture.
BRUCE LABRUCE: As in, there is only one large culture and everything is a facet of it.



MALCOLM MCLAREN



kARL lAGERFELD AND bRUCE LaBRUCE

.M.A.R.S.