L8 Lee

Lately its been separating mind from the beta waves of the boob tube. reading from my new e-reader(its great), Khalil Gibran nuggets, thinking bout a neu boo, getting the hell away from here, life (this thing is soo real): if you live it like its not real it will turn out that way.

WHAT in the world.

watching: last episode of Conan was awesome(zz,beck,harper,conan should really be a band), excess baggage(Benicio's character=YES!, Christopher Walken!!), the last supper(i stumbled upon a dark comedy- thats pretty damn sweet), LIFE.

listening: dj alf alpha's(myspace), jay electronica(mostly victory and girlfriend), speak(applebird music), buff 1(1derful life), danny brown(dsom:series), black milk ( ELEC)...

feeling: myself,up then down then up again, optimistic,stuck,frustrated.

writing: poetry,music lyrics, my heart,app essays(not really though)

calling: home!!

Can't Break Me

feelin like:

Who's gonna save my soul now?
Who's gonna save my soul now?
How will my story ever be tollllld now?
How will my story be tollllld now?...

Who's gonna save my soul now?
Who's gonna save my soul now?
I wonder if I'll live to grow old now
Gettin high cause I feel so lowwwww down
...

And OHHHH~! Who's gonna save my soul now?
Who's gonna save my soul now?
Ohhhh I know I'm out of control now
Oooh-oooh, tired enough to lay my own soul down ( BUT I CAIN'T and I AIN'T)

Feeling good,feeling great. Feeling great,feelin good,how are you?

You know what feels good? Standing up for what you believe in. Especially when someone talks down toward your feelings, you, and/or anything you stand for.
Don't you dare for a second take that. I don't care if its the president talking to you. We are all worth respect, and the right to stand-up for ourselves, no matter what someone else feels, its not about them, its about us!

You have one life will you live it letting people trample over you or will you, stand-up for what you believe and confront people when they offend, or talk down to you. It's not about fighting, its about informing and strengthening your back bone. Every fight is not worth it, but when the fights come along that are; FIGHT!



[:^D}

For what !?

Clearly the time has come to move on, and progress with my life. To take charge and be exuberant about the change.

I don't ask for much, in fact many people can't recall me asking for anything. I dont care about money, your social status, your job, your belief system, your race, or your sex. However being lied to is a mother-------! It sucks especially when its from people you hold close. Decisions must be made otherwise I will become stagnant. I'm not sure why people lie thinking they will look better, or appear more appealing. But when the truth is found out, it makes you look worse than you really are. Its not the lies, its the fact you thought I was dumb enough to believe them, the fact that you think I'm stupid or gullible. Most likely my B.S. radar went off and I just didn't say anything... foolish me.

Thanks, but no thanks. Life is about learning and earning. I've learned a lesson and earned a gem. From the first fib anyone tells you, watch out! there's only more. If you think you can put up with it go ahead, but don't be surprised when you are hurt because of disappointment. Listen to your conscience. If you can't hear it, take time out each day in silence, and listen.

Yes everyone lies, but its different when its people you love.I lie, you lie, but when have had enough there's no way to explain it, there's no number you can put on it, it just is time,ya know.

The Truth is I dont give a fuck

Hey you know what " Marcus you won't make it, Marcus give up, Marcus do something else, Marcus succeed, Marcus you can do it, Marcus you can be the greatest, Marcus you are a great actor, Marcus you are hilarious, Marcus you're so funny.

Thank you and Forget you.

Everyone worries if I don't make what will I do. I'll tell you what I'll do; what I love. The ordinary route would be to go to a four-year university,and do what I don't wish to do. Why live in the dark? Its like coming out the closet, saying I'm an actor 100% not in school! However I am in Conservatory.. now you're on my side... but even then there are doubters, you can't pay attention to the doubters and you can't deny the facts, but you can PURSUE YOUR DREAM 900% and not listen to doubters, yes men,or yes women. It ain't about popularity its about doing what you love despite the money(though big checks per movie/performance are good). I'm satisfied acting without the money;but since you need money to live under a roof, and eat...I would like to make money doing what I love.

Meditatin'

So I took time out to meditate today. I sat in silence and what came were the things that were really on my mind but were blocked by my immediate wants,(amazing)! It is good for me to meditate; It calms my nerves, and allows silence to surround me.

I encourage you to take time out to; sit,stand, whatever is comfortable and just breathe deeply a few times let initial thoughts go(i.e. what the hell am I doing,im hungry-in fact eat prior to, im cold-get a blanket) and allow the meaningful thoughts to come in write them if you have the urge to or just let them go and talk through them.

.Meditate

Moovies

Today I watched:

MOVIE TIME

today I'll be watching: THE AIR I BREATHE

PIX of the day

"Batgirl is Now Prince"

This picture is one of three I've seen that takes a popular movie or music poster and infuses it with a superheroes. This is my favourite; because no other hero could have really fit, and I love the Purple Rain Theme.





Here are the others:

Elektra-Flashdance


Teen Titans - The Breakfast Club


[All pictures created by none other than Cliff Chiang]


All pictures courtesy of www.worldfamousjunkies.com

The LOTUS has spoken

This is stuck in my head. especially the vocals and throbbing bass!

SCHOOL is, CHOOL kids...

SO after being in Jersey ,I was able to dialogue with a stranger and get a lot off my chest; finally someone to listen and respond when necessary. It was a great experience and I enjoyed the ride.

Any who, in conversation the subject of school was brought up. Seeing as there is a lot I want to do, I was advised to go to school for what I actually love to do. Previously I hadn't gone because I figured what could they teach me but a year after having that thought-and in the middle of this conversation with a stranger- I realized its not about teaching me what I already know rather,refining and improving the skills I already have. So I've made the decision to go to conservatory or enroll into a theater program at a university.

I will take suggestions on schools and keep you folks updated as I make my decision and prepare myself for learning.

Part of me wants to read books from the Library on the areas I feel weak in, and the other part of me wants to be back on campus, and receive formal education on my love.



On to watch "No Country For Old Men"

Well i been sitting waitin; wishin you believed in superstition then maybe..

Congrats on making it to 2010 now make it better!

Been movie watching the past few days and It would be best for me to watch movies everyday.(at least one per day),period. (I just need to know the craft.)
iTs best especially when you watch freaking Raging Bull for the first time!

DeNiro's performance made me want to act even more;though honestly at first I wanted to change fields because Robert De Niro put together such a beautiful person, portraying Jake LaMotta! The way he initially approached Vickie, is the image and attitude I will have now every time I approach a lady of interest,lol. As you watch the movie pay attention to the performance of Joe Pesci (GREAT SUPPORTING ROLE) who I never knew could act because the first movie I ever saw him in was Home Alone; Pesci is great! Scorsese,Schrader ...bea-utiful! The fact that the movie was in black and white only intensified the performances and cinematography. ALL AROUND GREAT MOVIE,GREAT TEAM...what a dream.



Then, this morning I watched Leaving Las Vegas ; different to say the least, I like the view it portrayed.I saw it as telling the story of actual dirt going on in Vegas with regular people (a drunk and a "trick") she needs his company(comfort) and consistency, he needs a place to stay(comfort and stability). Good movie I'd watch it again.

Listening to : Sardonic Smirk Mixtape(yesterday); and James Brown"In The Jungle Groove"(Monday) over the weekend(he really says random things in his music and its funny to me; and this particular album has Bootsy as well as Sweet Charles,Fred Thomas on bass and Clyde Stubblefield as well as Jabo, and Melvin Parker on drums)Its Beastly!


Reading : Education and the Significance of Life by Jiddu Krishnamurti
This book fills in the circle of Jiddu for me. I first heard one of his dialogues(october/november 09) and last weekend I saw Farmington Library had this book(very surprised). I picked it for numerous reasons mainly to expand my thinking more and consider my education enrolling in school next year.